My Australian Fake Out

Reason #88 Why I'm Not Badass: Fooled by the charming Australian accent yet again.

My Quickies (v.4.28.10)

- Casual Friday Everyday: Details Magazine gave ten suggestions to folks who don't want to wear pants to work, though there's a creepiness factor about being nude inside a Barney Dinosaur costume while surrounded by kids. (Details)

- CSI: Apple: Jason Chen, editor of Gizmodo- the site that leaked information about the upcoming iPhone, came home to find detectives has ransacked his place and seized his computers, hard drives and digital cameras. Now why can't the police be this adamant about other, more tragic investigations? (NYDN)

- Girl Scout Cookie Spokesperson: Following his television debut during last week's SNL Weekend Update, fans suddenly became obsessed with getting John Mulaney more camera time. Honestly, I thought he was a bit dull, this New York magazine interview just confirms it.

- Trumpin' Races: It's no secret I'm a huge fan of 'The Amazing Race', and now it's no secret Donald Trump is jealous of the globetrotting show winning seven straights Emmys for Outstanding Reality Competition Program calling it "undeserving". Mr. Trump, your show had Sinbad on... Sinbad! You don't win Emmys with Sinbad! (EW)

- US Soccer Glory?: ESPN debates rather we'll see United States winning the World Cup in my lifetime. It's intriguing and filled with both optimism and a defeatist attitude. Also, the latest FIFA Rankings show the Yanks jumped two spots and is now ranked #14 in the world. (ESPN)

- Golden Host: Ricky Gervais has been invited back to host the Golden Globes again next year. I think this is an excellent decision and hopefully will become a tradition like Bob Hope and the Oscars. Mel Gibson, you've been warned. (Zap2It)

- High Art: A Georgia man is arrested about selling fake vintage horror posters to collectors, swindling over $1 million in the process. (NYT)

- All About The Green: 'American Idiot', the Green Day musical, is deemed a bonafide hit after grossing close to $780K last week on The Great White Way. The sad part of this is that 'The Addams Family', a show that was critically panned made close to twice that amount, coming in at $1.4 million. (EW)

My N2N Cast Changes

Yes, this is indeed your biweekly blog entry about 'Next To Normal'. I went ahead and saw the newly minted Pulitzer Prize winner again this past Monday and realized something. Due to replacements and understudies- I haven't seen the same cast combination once out of the five times I've seen this show.... that and I forked over more than $300, but I try to think positive.

Since I've always admired the intensity and feistiness Alice Ripley pours into Diana, it was a little jarring when her understudy Jessica Phillips portrays it a little more tame but with a lot more emotions. It took all of the first act for me to get used to Phillips, but as soon as the second act opened up, I was game for her idea of Diana being in a much deeper internal pain. If the rumors are true that Phillips will eventually replace Ripley, I think I'll be okay with it. I can deal with painfully tragic women.

The thing I miss most about Aaron Tveit's version of Gabe is the boyish charms he brings to a rather innocent character, not to mention his confidence on stage commands audience attention. The first time I saw Kyle Dean Massey's Gabe, it was his second show back and he had a cold and sounded nasally- very apparent when he has to go toe-to-toe with Alice Ripley & Bobby Spencer during "You Don't Know/I Am The One". This repeated viewing of a healthier Massey was such a drastic improvement. His Gabe is more haunting and sly, with the sort of charisma necessary for a heartthrob. Maybe it's the way he looks at you with those deep socket eyes like he's trying to undress you and buy you flowers at the same time.

Finally, Dan has always been my favorite character in the show. I love how caring and protective he is of his clan and much of it has to do with Bobby Spencer. He makes my eyes watery every time during "A Light In The Dark" and again during "I Am The One (Reprise)", one time I actually heard half the theatre sobbing during the latter number. The idea of going to see the show again was because Spencer would be departing the production and the man who would be replacing Spencer is the man Spencer himself replaced during the show's transition from Off-Broadway to Broadway, Brian Darcy James- who opted to do 'Shrek: The Musical' instead of this. I've heard good things about James's version of Dan and I look forward to seeing it later this fall/winter.

So am I ready to call 'Next To Normal' my favorite stage production of all-time over 'The Light In The Piazza'? Umm... yes. Yes, I am. Though things might change again whenever Matthew Morrison and Kelli O'Hara decide to share the stage again for my amusement.

Also, believe it or not, another musical that's no longer on Broadway actually got more repeated viewings out of me (Nope, not 'Piazza'), but it's far too embarrassing to admit- even on the interwebs.

My Warm Fuzzy Commercial

Warm Fuzzies. Part 2.

My Subway Rats

According to some Upper East Side residents, the recent surge of large rats running around in their neighborhood is due to the underground construction for the upcoming 2nd Avenue train. While the MTA isn't dismissing the idea, they're telling concerned residents that there might be another reason for the rats- like, they live in New York City and there's an abandon building down the block from them. Okay, so they didn't say those exact words, but the idea is there.

I usually hate the MTA, but I'm with them on this one. What bugs me even more is that one resident says seeing rats on the streets until 2018, the estimated finish date of the 2nd Avenue project, is "a living hell". To which I reply, people in the slums of third world countries are in a living hell, rich white ladies on the UES who sees an occasional rat on the street and complains about it just need a massage appointment at a day spa. They're just rats, they're gross and disgusting but I'm sure some pampering will take you out of your "hell". So let's not go overboard, I'll even go to Bliss with you... but you have to pay since imma broke and yous lives on the Upper East Side. (WSJ)

My Gabourey Sidibe

Gabourey Sidibe got a lot of flack (check comment section) for some of her miscues during last week's SNL. Sure, she flubbed some lines here and there- but how many hosts prior to her has done the same thing? Let's face it, SNL hasn't been funny in a long time and a huge part of it has to do with the writing. So let's not blame Gabby, who gave it her all, for another dud episode. I personally liked her opening monologue in which I want her to chalk up as her personal theme song. The other bright spot? When Bill Hader couldn't hold in the giggles during his segment on the Weekend Update.

My Concert Drunk

A few days late, but this still cracks me up everytime I watch it:

My Celebrity Crush Of The Month (v.4.26.10)

April 2010: Jay Brannan, 28, musician

Soulful and grounded, Brannan's music & lyrics is a much welcomed addition to my music collection that speaks right from the heart.

My Amazing Race Rankings (Week 10)

I so wanted this leg of the race to be an elimination one for many reasons. One, I wanted to knock off Mike and Louie because they're the strongest team outside of the Cowboys and two, I'd love to see the drama at Elimination Station between the cops and Joe, who they U-Turned all those weeks ago in France. But alas, no such luck. Maybe next week. Anyway, here's how I like them:

I'll be forever anxious during each episode until Phil tells them they're safe.

Jordan cries this week, Daniel throws a tantrum next week. These

guys are sure not liking China so far.

Spared elimination. Michael's probably thinking puzzles suck.

How these two remain in the race is beyond me. I'm sure their steady

improvement and dumb luck will get them into the final three.

Best Line of the Night: "Tranquil? What does that mean?" - Cord

Best Move: Jet using that "secret ingredient", flour, to assist with his road block.

Worst Move: Mike & Louie not realizing all they had to do was to go through the doors for their next challenge.

My First Encounter With The Double Down Sandwich

Nope, still no upchuck yet.

My Overhead on Set

Best Boy: Dude, that chick is bangin'.

Gaffer: She's wearing a giraffe costume.

Best Boy: So? I'd tap that.

I knew I was different...

My Ten Cinematic Facts

Despite knowing the cheese factor, I'm a sucker for interactive blogs. So when fellow Seminole (FSU Holla!) Walter over at The Silver Screening Room tagged me to blog ten cinema facts about myself, I jumped at the opportunity to do what I do best- talk about me. Also, I have the utmost respect for anyone who hates the AMC in Tallahassee more than I do.

1. My first movie at the theater was 'The Land Before Time'. I was so not emotionally ready for the dramatic elements cartoons had to offer so I cried so loud and hard in that dark room when the mother died, my dad had to escort me out due to embarrassment.

2. Not that I have any acting ambition, but if I had to play one role in the history of films, I would choose Conrad Jarret from 'Ordinary People'- he's so complex, tortured and all too relatable... minus the death of a brother thing.

3. I have a very unhealthy crush on the late Marlon Brando and currently have five posters/memorabilia hanging on my bedroom walls- including the original Playbill from the 'A Streetcar Named Desire' Broadway production and a canvas photo still from the film production.

4. The first VHS I ever bought with my own allowance was the straight-to-video Aladdin sequel 'The Return to Jafar'. I still remember it was $19.91 before tax at the Waldbaum's Supermarket that has now been replaced by a Best Buy down the street from my house.

5. If I ever make my own film and had the powers to do so, I would cast Barry Pepper and Guy Pearce in a heartbeat. Even though they're not my favorite actors, I have a deep appreciation (and misguided sympathy) for the two actors.

6. My favorite movie theater in the world is the Clearview Ziegfeld in Midtown Manhattan. My least favorite is the AMC/Loews in Kings Plaza Mall- it smells like urine, gangsta and prune juice.

7. I used to think it was cool that I memorized the entire 'Jerry Maguire' script was I was younger. I'm still waiting for a real life moment where I can use a similar/converse line to "That's more than a dress, that's an Audrey Hepburn'' movie on a date.

8. The only film I've ever seen twice in one the same day at the theater was 'Birthday Girl'... oh that's right, I said the little seen Nicole Kidman/Ben Chaplin starrer 'Birthday Girl'. The film I've seen the most times at the theater is 'Black Hawk Down'... oh that's right, I said 'Black Hawk Down'.

9. I know 'Syriana' was suppose to be important and relevant, but I just don't know why.

10. A little more personal, but I'm still waiting to work on a project I'm completely passionate about and gets me excited to go on set everyday. Granted, I love a lot of the people I've worked with in the past and present but I wish I could work on a project where I fall head over heels for. Conversely, I've worked on some crappy shoots and there's nothing worse than script supervising a feature you don't believe in and having to know and memorize all the little details inside out.

Okay, I won't subject anyone to continue this madness for my sake, so I'm not going to tag anyone. It's all about me. See? I am just that conceited.

My Quickies (v.4.20.10)

- Knapp-ed Out: Christian music singer Jennifer Knapp reveals she's a lesbian. Ready for a backlash, Knapp prepares herself to get back into the biz after a seven year absence- only doing it with more secular material. So it confirms my gaydar's effectiveness at one of her shows (with Bebo!) ten years ago. (Washington Post)

- Best iPad Sponsor Ever: Norway Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg was seen stranded at JFK airport and told the press he's running his country from new brand new iPad while the ash clouds over Europe clear out. Another sign that the technology showcased in 'Minority Report' was closer to reality than most anticipated. (NYDN)

- Olympic-Size Debt: It appears it's not just the host cities/countries that the Olympics send into huge debts. NBC announced broadcasting this year's Winter Games set them back $223 million dollars. (AP)

- Baywatch-ed Return: Though I'm sure I'm using the term "bigger star" loosely, what's with the deal of "bigger stars" going back to soap operas? David Hasselhoff agrees to return to 'The Young & The Restless' for a one-day storyarc. (EW)

- Proud Vlogger: Check out British vlogger Johnny Durham's poignant and funny video response to questions he's been asked regarding his sexuality.

- Cracker Jacks & Upchuck: Proving Philadelphia Phillies fans are the grossest cheerers is sports, a man was arrested after he vomited on an 11-year old girl in the stands last week at a game during a fight. (ESPN)

- Apple Release: Someone at Apple is getting fired this morning. An actual iPhone 4.0 model was found and the tech site Gizmondo dissected and analyzed it for all the geeks out there (myself included). Best feature? Video camera on both sides of the phone! (Engadget)

- More Pulitzer Drama: Ben Brantley and his defeatist attitude continues the ongoing backlash against 'Next To Normal' winning this year's Pulitzer Prize for Drama. I haven't seen this much awards bashing for the stage since Julie Andrews' tirade back in her 'Victor/Victoria' days. (NYT)

My Random Thought of the Night

Should I really be this annoyed some country music awards show pre-empted this week's 'The Amazing Race'? Maybe I should stop watching reality competition shows..... or protest by starting a bonfire with CDs from Lady Antebellum. That's a thing, right?

My Ke$ha Tranny

I've never been a fan of Ke$ha. Maybe it's due to the fact she has a dollar sign in her name and pronounces 'Ka-esha' as oppose to 'Key-sha'. Either way, this promo for tonight's very skippable SNL with host Ryan Philippe (what has he been doing since the Reese Witherspoon breakup!?!) makes Ke$ha look like a tranny.

My Dinner Theatre

Pops insisted on having dinner at a restaurant named 'Fu Kee', a name worthy of Engrish, on 86th Street since they have a $10 for 2 lobsters special if you dine in. Yes, $10 for 2 whole lobsters. So here we are, father and son, chowing down on our lobsters when I overheard a conversation at the next table between an Asian teenager and a middle aged white woman:

Teenage Daughter: There's this party tomorrow night I want to go to.

Step-Mom: Isn't it a school night?

Daughter: Yeah, but it's going to be a great party.

Step-Mom: What's the party for?

Daughter: No reason.

Step-Mom: So there's going to be a great party for no reason.

Daughter: There's no need for a reason to have a great party. People can just have parties now. It's not like back in your generation when people only get together for birthdays and bar mitzvahs.

Step-Mom: (agitated) Well, kids this generation flash their private parts for an iPod at parties!

Daughter: (disgusted) It's iPad!

Lobster AND comedy, what a fun night at Fu Kee! And to my surprise, I didn't throw up afterwards.

My Soda Voucher

I'm going to say I like this idea. In an attempt to get kids and families to stop drinking sodas and other non-organic sugary drinks, the Alliance for Healthier New York is conducting a buy-back of sodas for money vouchers useful at farmer's markets. On paper, it seems like a great idea and alternative to the proposed taxing of soda and sugary drinks since it will stimulate the farmer's market economy in the same way a gift card works and it will only encourage families to trade in their 99 cent 2-liters for a $6 voucher and a regular can of soda for a $3 one. Hopefully this Brooklyn experiment will garner enough participants to bring awareness and delay the what seems like an inevitable "fat tax" on sodas. The obvious con? People hoarding sodas as if it's the new currency. (NYDN)

My Michael Bradley

Finally, a major sports outlet highlights my favorite player on the US National Soccer Team, Michael Bradley. It highlights the shadows Bradley has by being the coach's son and becoming his own person and player on the field while maintaining his inner menace. I find it fascinating how aggressive Bradley is off the field as well in terms of his attitude towards life. When asked why he rarely smiles, he simply replies "I smile when we win, after the game." Sounds like a very intense guy with some daddy issues. Kudos to the folks over at ESPN for showcasing a small part of the future of American Soccer and making me that much more excited for the start of upcoming World Cup in a couple of months!

My Spring Premiere of Glee

Quick Analysis: A rather underwhelming episode with all the hype, the FOX promos department felt it was necessary to sneak peek next week's Madonna-themed episode by showing Jane Lynch's cover of 'Vogue'. It's very apparent where the back nine episodes are going to focus on and it doesn't vary much from the front 13.

Broadway enthusiasts like myself were salivating over the reunion of 'Spring Awakening' stars Lea Michele and Jonathan Groff and the addition of Idina Menzel ('Wicked'). While it's still very early and not much can be read from Groff and Menzel's characters from one episode, I was hoping for more and definitely at least one showstopper number besides 'Vogue'.

I'm sure next week's Madonna episode will undoubtedly be fun and hilarious, but just for this week, it appears the hype exceeded the content.

My 2010 Pulitzer Prize For Drama

For only the eighth time since 1918, a musical has won the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. 'Next To Normal' pulled a surprised upset over three nominated plays to become what is essentially a write-in vote victory. The last musical to claim this prize was Jonathan Larson's 'Rent' in 1996. This year's prize did not come without controversy. The before mentioned winning from a non-nominated status is equivalent to the Academy Award picking 'Wall-E' to be Best Picture last year. Also, the musical debuted in 2008, instead of 2009, during its off-Broadway run and had many critics and predictors deeming it ineligible.

I've made it no secret how much I adore this musical, closing the gap as my favorite stage production to 'The Light In The Piazza' with each listen of the cast recording. I couldn't be happier to see the heart wrenching musical win the prize despite losing Best Musical last year to 'Billy Elliott'. (Playbill)

My Quickies (v.4.12.10)

- Where's Charlie?: The NY Daily News did a 'Where Are They Now?' featuring the original cast of the classic film 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'. Something about the guy who played Augustus being an accountant makes perfect sense. (NYDN)

- Defending Tiger: Jim Carrey manages to blame Elin Nordegren for Tiger Wood's affairs since she "had to be a willing participant". And the douchbag of the day is... (E!)

- 'FNL' Fresh Meat: 'Friday Night Lights' continues to be realistic and rotate its high school cast by adding a hipster character who fell into football. Though a hipster in Smalltown Texas might stretch that realistic thing a bit. (EW)

- Fake Prom: At what lengths will the town of Itawamba, Mississippi go to to not allowing lesbian teenager Constance McMillen to bring her girlfriend her high school prom? Staging a fake prom (that including disabled kids) while holding a secret prom for all the 'normal' kids. Like I've always said, sometimes you just have to wait for all the ignorant people to die off before the world can be a better place. (Huffington Post)

- As The Pyramid Turns: CBS is mulling over the idea of replacing their cancelled soap 'As The World Turns' with the classic gameshow, Pyramid. Judging from the poor ratings of 'Let's Make A Deal', they might as well filed this under "Things That Are Obviously Timeslot Fillers'. (EW)

- Hookers Or Us: An Ohio man was arrested after he reported to the police he had $50 stolen from him at a White Castle bathroom... only it turns out to be false complaint when it was discovered the man was unsatisfied what $50 got him from his hooker. (Smoking Gun)

- Facebook Lawsuit: The strange lawsuit of the day goes to a teen in Arkansas who's suing his mother for changing the password to his Facebook account after she slandered him on the online community network. (KTLA)

- Conan and George: TBS certainly got a big boost today signing Conan O'Brien to host a late night show starting November. Somewhere, FOX executives can be heard cursing Ted Turner. (EW)

My Sassy Gay Friend

Those hilarious folks at Chicago's Second City imagined what some classic Shakespeare play would be like if the heroines had a sassy girl friend. It's true, I always thought most females in Shakespeare's works were dumb as a brick.

My Amazing Race Rankings (Week 9)

Whoa. Drama came into full force this week. As much as I dislike Brent & Caite and their more than idiotic move this week u-turning Brandy & Carol when the two strongest teams are still behind them, Brandy & Carol has to get over it and blame the game and not the players. It's very apparent now which half the remaining four teams are the stronger ones. Here's how I like 'em:

Love Jet. Love, love, love.

Very fortunate leg this time around. Flying completely under the radar.

The villains for season 16 are finally revealed...

... and they're playing these two dimwits who don't even know it.

Best Line: "The closest thing to an instrument I've ever played is a radio." - Jet

Smartest Move: Dan & Jordan beelining for the Fast Forward.

Dumbest Move: The before-mentioned Brent & Caite U-Turning Brandy & Carol instead of Team Cowboys or Team Detectives.

My Free Cupcakes

I'm still in a tax mood. After owing taxes for five straight years, I'm getting money back from the IRS this year and it came in today! Yay! Anyway, Cinnabon is offering TWO FREE cupcakes on the 15th from 6pm-8pm as a tax relief. Are you thinking the same way I am and calculating how many Cinnabons you can hit up in a 2-hour span?

My Girly Trailers

As summer blockbuster season starting earlier every year, an onslaught of trailers are released. Here are just a few that caught my attention:

Sex and The City 2: I watched SATC when it was TV the same way I watched 'The Simpsons', not a big fan by any means but I've seen all the episodes nonetheless. It's easy and fun. After the success of the first film, it was a no-brainer that a sequel was to come. I've always preferred Aiden over Mr. Big so John Corbett's appearance in this one will certainly hold me over from the dizzying desert scenes. ".. But with cocktails." Cute.

The Kids Are All Right: Enter this year's quirky, lighthearted independent film with prestige. I absolutely adore all the actors involved, everyone from Julianne Moore (slowly climbing my charts) to Josh Hutcherson ('Little Manhattan' is the best romcom set in NY last decade). Judging from the trailer, it seems like everyone is having a blast and I can't wait to join in on their fun as a "unconventional family".

Killers: Oh Katherine Heigl. How you annoy me. Since her cinematic breakout turn in 'Knocked Up', every romantic comedy Heigl's been, I found myself caring more about her male counterpart. James Marsden, Gerard Butler and even in this trailer, Ashton Kutcher. I mean, Ashton Kutcher! What's going on!?! Between this and 'Valentine's Day', can my opinion on the Punk'd one really be turning? Anyway, this film looks like 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith'-lite.

The Greatest: I love family dramas and this screams 'Ordinary People'. That along with my infatuation with Carey Mulligan should drive me to me catch this tearjerker.

My Brooklyn Apple Store

I wouldn't go to the lengths of producing and starring in this cheesy video, but I totally agree with Brooklyn borough president Marty Markowitz when he made a request to Apple honcho Steve Jobs to place an Apple retail store in Brooklyn. I mean, STATEN ISLAND has one! Staten frickin' Island! How about putting one a block from Trader Joe's on Atlantic Avenue? I spent the whole day in Cobble Hill yesterday and totally loved it.

My Buried Life

Can this be? A show on MTV that I can not only tolerate but also enjoy? The premise of four young guys crossing things off their bucket list while inspiring others to do so is a breath of very fresh air for this network. It's like watching episodes of 'Extreme Makeover: Home Edition' the way these guys manage to tug at heart strings on their course to complete their own adventurous list such as 'play ball with Barack Obama' while helping strangers complete more important tasks such as searching for their birth mother.

It's been awhile since I applaud MTV for their programming decisions but picking up this series for a second season is certainly a giant step away from the trashy side of reality television. Even Oprah was impressed with these guys and invited them to a recent taping of her talk show to share their story. Check out the group's Buried List.

My Asian Susan Boyle

Yikes. God bless foreign reality singing competition for bringing us some amazing performances the contestants of 'American Idol' only wish they can fathom. Meet Lin Yu Chun, currently in Taiwan's 'Superstar Avenue' belt out the Dolly Parton/Whitney Houston classic "I Will Always Love You". While not pleasing to the eye, Lin who was nicknamed "Little Fatty" on the show is most definitely flexing his vocal muscles to his opponent who's evidently shaking in her boots. If you can't read or understanding Mandarin, just skip to the 1 minute mark.

My Asian Jersey Shore

As if the original wasn't terrible already, casting notices were sent out seeking young Asian-Americans for a 'Jersey Shore'-type reality show set in Los Angeles. I can't remember the last time Asians made for popular American television. Have they not learned from Margaret Cho's short-lived series 'All-American Girl'? We're better suited as sidekicks or token spots on reality competition shows. Sigh. I wonder what catchy nicknames the lucky chosen ones would call themselves. My suggestions include 'Kimmy Chi', 'Peking Wang' and 'The Lobster Roll'. (NYP)

P.S.- I found the picture for this post by googling 'cool asian kids'.

My Liveblog of Julianne Moore's Return

Julianne Moore's episode of 'As The World Turns' aired today so here's my little play-by-play of the episode of the cancelled soap.

:00 “Are we getting married or not?” Wow, some dramatic start. Even I know they’re going to get back together by the end of this episode. They’re not a market for ladies over 50 on soaps.

:02 OMG, it’s Matt Durning from the original 90210! I actually wanted him to end up with Kelly Taylor on that show. Anyway, back to this soap.. where’s Julianne Moore?

:04 Whoa. There’s someone under the age of 30 on this show and of course he’s the rebel who doesn’t believe in marriage since he was jaded by some chick name Alison. So, the name of the couple in jeopardy is Bob and Kim. 25 years, that must be an eternity on soaps.

:13 Flashbacks! What exactly did Bob do to deserve such a cold shoulder from Kim?

:14 Whoa. This stuttering, old lady is hitting on Bob! Skank, go away! So… where’s Julianne Moore!?!

:23 There seems to be a lot of infidelity in this town. This Bob guy sure has gotten around. This black and white decades old clip is a nice touch for what I can only assume is a tribute episode.

:28 We must be halfway through with the show, there’s a montage of characters from the show- most of which look like they fell out of an Abercrombie catalogue and are not on today’s episode.

:30 The jaded young one (Casey) wants his grandpa to tell his grandma she’s hot. The not so young one is telling Bob to “woo” Kim instead.

:31 More clips! This time with tweed jackets!

:34 Awww… Bob is “woo-ing” her with the help of some cliché soap opera writing and a resignation letter. Kim is starting to sound like Meredith Grey with her self-pity whining.

:37 There’s still 20 minutes left to the episode and Bob & Kim are back together. So what now? And more importantly, where the hell is Julianne Moore!?!!?

:42 What is the deal with all these ladies trying to get a piece of Bob? Oh, it’s just some master plan to make sure Bob wants to marry Kim.

:45 Awww, everyone has a happy ending on today’s episode. For a second there, I thought the back of Alison’s head was Julianne Moore’s. So… 15 minutes left, where is she?

:46 It’s a soap opera wedding! That means someone is going to die right?

:50 More cliché and pun-ny writing! Without Bob & Kim, the “world would be spinning off its axis.”

:51 It’s Julianne Moore! Hugging Bob! Yay!

:52 Followed by two very horny people in a bathroom.

:53 Hmm… that was a quickie. Someone’s busted. I must say these two intrigue me.

:54 Bob & Kim are Julianne Moore’s parents! More cliché and pun-ny dialogue with the words ‘World Turns’ in it.

:55 The preview for tomorrow shows nobody from today’s episode. Well, it was cool Julianne returned to the show, even if it’s all for 4 minutes. Hmm.. I hear Parker Posey and Meg Ryan used to be on this show too. Any chance of getting them on?

My Overhead on Easter

On the F train: "Jesus was like the best zombie ever."

My Quickies (v.4.5.10)

- High School Fantasy: Two teachers were caught naked together in the classroom while their students were in general assembly. Males students of James Madison High School were suddenly in favor of surveillance cameras in classrooms for their "protection". (NYD)

- Champion For A Day: Andy Roddick won the Sony Ericson Open in Florida this weekend in a tournament that included Federer and Nadal. I highly doubt he can carry this over to the clay courts next month, but good for him. (Yahoo)

- Kumar v. Obama: Kal Penn resigned his post as an aid to the Obama administration to reprise his role as Kumar in the 'Harold and Kumar' franchise. Wow. Is the economy that bad? (EW)

- Last Minute Replacement: Since Megan Mullally debunked 'Lips Together' from its premiere, the Roundabout Theatre called on to its off-Broadway success, 'Everyday Rapture', to take its place at the American Airlines Theatre. (Playbill)

- Heart Attack: KFC manages to invent a new way to induced cardiac arrest with their Double Down Sandwich. Yes, fried chicken filet instead of buns.... Sure, that has to be to good for me. (KFC)

- Blame The Gays, Not The Pedos: The newest defense of the Catholic Church in regards to priest molesting blind deaf boys is that since they were post-pubescent, it's no longer pedophilia- it's the homosexual tendencies, so blame the gays. I guess the best defense is a pathetic offense. (Gawker)

- Palin Inc.: Since moving on from Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin has slowly turned herself into a profitable brand in the political world. Great, another political opportunist in America. Yippee. (NYT)

- Brothers Broadcasting: I hope Aaron Boone learned from his brother's disastrous attempt as a baseball commentator in 2003 when ESPN signed him on to be part of the 'Baseball Tonight' team. (ESPN)

My Amazing Race Rankings (Week 8)

Cowboy Up! Reigniting my faith in Jet & Cord, they've made all the right moves this week. Also, on a sidenote, does anyone else think Dan and Allie would make a cute couple? No? Just me? Anyway, here's how I like the remaining teams:

Stronger Player: At this point, I'm going to say Cord

Stronger Player: Pretty even, but I'm going to go with Jordan

Stronger Player: Undoubtedly Michael. Undoubtedly.

Stronger Player: Slight edge to Carol.

Stronger Player: Brent would win this battle of the airheads.

Line Of The Night: "She calls them daddies."- Brent referring to how Caite calls Team Detectives

Smartest Move: Jet & Cord going straight for the balance poles.

Dumbest Move: Dan & Jordan, Steve & Allie getting out of their cabs at the first sign of traffic.

My Misleading Frontpage

Upon seeing this on the frontpage of the New York Times webpage, I thought another tragedy had struck somewhere in the world causing people to once again ponder in silence and grievance. After reading a couple of words, I started laughing. The cause for this somber photo? Well...

Kinda pathetic, isn't it?

My Tina Fey/Steve Carell Combo

I have a much higher interest in watching Tina Fey and Steve Carell talk to each other for 90 minutes than I do of them in an action comedy together. I want Liz Lemon Tina Fey to be my best friend. Case in point:

It almost makes me want to watch their movie later this month.

My New Director/New Film Festival

A few nights after my first visit at ND/NF this year, I was invited to a screening of the film chosen for closing night and its after party. Unlike my rather disorienting reaction to Monday's show, it was clear I was not only emotionally invested but applaud director Xavier Dolan's freshman effort in I Killed My Mother, the Canadian submission to this year's Academy Awards. As complex as it is brilliant, the journey of one relationship between a teenager and his mother is sure to be relevant in some variation to anyone who ever had an argument with their mother.

Being a semi-autobiography, the 20-year old (!!!) Dolan crafted this impressive tale that I wished I had the ability to write down such heartbreaking moments. At the after party, my friend and I were hoping to meet the dapper dressed Dolan to congratulate, who also starred in the film, but alas... he was whisked away somewhere by John Cameron Mitchell and never returned.

Sidenote: Alice Tully Hall turned out to be one gorgeous facility.

My 2010 Baseball Predictions

Ah. It's that time again. Spring training is almost over and another long baseball season is about to start. So of course, that means I'll be making my season predictions. I got 6 out of the 8 playoff teams correct last season and missing the eventual champions. As usual, so many questions are going to be answered in six months. Will the Mets have another colossal collapse? Will the Angels continue to run the table in the weak AL West division? And of course, can the Yankees repeat as championship or the will be Red Sox's off season moves be enough? Here we go.

American League:

1. New York Yankees (AL East Champions)

2. Los Angeles Angels (AL West Champions)

3. Detroit Tigers (AL Central Champions)

4. Boston Red Sox (AL Wild Card)

ALDS: Yankees over Tigers, Angels over Red Sox

ALCS: Angels over Yankees

The biggest question mark for me is the AL Central. Which scrappy team will have enough to make it to the division series just to lose in the first round? Since the Twin's Joe Nathan is gone for the season, I'm going to go with the Tigers.

National League:

1. Los Angeles Dodgers (NL West)

2. St. Louis Cardinals (NL Central)

3. Philadelphia Phillies (NL East)

4. Atlanta Braves (NL Wild Card)

NLDS: Dodgers over Braves, Phillies over Cardinals

NLCS: Phillies over Dodgers

I have the Phillies going to their third straight World Series. And in a surprise move, I think the Braves will return to the postseason courtesy of the Mets imploding again late in the game. Dodgers and Cardinals should be shoo-ins by June.

World Series: Phillies over Angels

For the second straight year, I'm going to predict the Phillies as the eventual champions. On paper, this team seems very strong and after taking a beating in a tough NL East, I think they should coast in October.

My 20-Minute Laugh Of The Day

This is the only time Justin Bieber will entertain me.